My name is Rachel and I am a Christian and I am a non denominational Christian. When I was 17 I attended a church and was told about a gift I would be given. I was told that I would be given one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. In the Bible, (1 Corinthians : 28-31) lists the gifts of the Holy Spirit and prophecy is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit which I was given by God. For me this is mainly focused around being a seer, visioner predominantly. This article touches on also on my journey as a Christian spanning over more than three decades. I also give my brief take on what healing and miracles mean to me today as someone who experiences disability, but who is not defined by it. I wrote this article intended to be read in its entirety, but with the subheadings you can decide how you wish to read it. We all have our unique journeys to share and now I will share with you mine.
How it Began
Let me tell you some background on how this happened. When I was 16 I was approached at a fashion event, the Clothes Show Live and was told I had the potential to become a successful model if I was to grow a few inches. I desperately wanted this to happen and soon enough I started praying asking to grow taller. I was asking for a miracle in other words. I spent months at 16 praying to God for my miracle. At 17 in around 1990 in London a friend of my mum’s told her about a church and I decided to tag along for my desperate plea to grow to become a model to be answered.
I received a response at that time, but not in ways I could have ever imagined or had any knowledge of. I was told by a pastoral leader; a prophetess in the church, that I was going to be given the gift of prophecy. The leader of the church was a devout figure who humbly served the Lord. I was told that this would be done as things would be difficult for me and it would also act as a form of protection in my life. I was also encouraged to attend church as it would be helpful for me. I was told I should go home and pray, drink holy water and a follow a further scriptural step and soon after I would start to see things around me and to expect it and to note this down. Soon enough though, this happened to me what I was told would when I went home.
As I noted in my book at the time, a bolt that was yellow came into my room and the room was swimming in colours and had the presence of flowers. I wrote in my book at that time that in my bedroom things are flying around, red, orange, yellow white like dynamite. I have included this extract from my book which I will read out to you at the end of this testimony in a video. This didn’t faze me in any way. This lasted for a few days which I was so obviously seeing which then left my eyes open to a brighter more colourful gaze of the world with a small amount of illumination on the world. This is a manifestion of God's power and light.
I am diagnosed with Autism
Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I was diagnosed with this later in life. This
however affected me from childhood. I had hypersensitivity from my childhood. The first two years of my life I faced ill health and I had a hospital admission for an infection at two months old. In my early infancy I also spent time with living with nannies who failed to give me any social interaction. These two experiences may have impacted on the development of my autism. I was educated in
Catholic schools and baptised, but my parents' were Christians. Growing up we didn't very often attend church, but as a family we quite routinely gathered
around at night to say prayers. I also enjoyed studying religion for my GCSE's at school and wanted to study it at A levels but it wasn't available. My interest in Christianity really peaked at
16, when I sought out my miracle.
I will also show you a modelling book in a video that I have with my dreams to grow taller all contained in it at the end of this testimony. That didn’t happen, I didn't make the height. The church we attended was a Christian Charismatic church and this was a new experience for me. I didn’t know anything about it. I went on to be able to give accurate closed eye and open eye visions in the church. An open eye vision I had at the church it showered over a couple's head who were looking for childbirth and the leader said they would be blessed by a child. I have witnessed with closed eyes water being spiritually blessed as well to be made Holy. All praises be to God.
During my time attending this church I did observe one miracle as well. A very young boy who was not able to walk was able to do so after several visits to the church. A woman of Jamaican origin attended the church in a different language speaking church. She was there for one purpose, which was to serve her faith. The Holy Spirit was alive in that church. I didn’t spend very long attending that church with my mum. I didn’t ask questions at 17, it was a different world with no internet but I can give testimony to how it has worked in my life. This is my personal witness.
The Journey
Today I
am non denominational. With inclusion, there should be a place at church for us whatever church we may end up at. God loves us all and
we are all uniquely made with purpose and precious in God's sight. I have observed believers who have unshakeable faith through all
trials and tribulations and recognise the power of God in their lives as well. My gift of prophecy is visible to me, although I'm not using it to serve in church at this point in my life. My
gift has served as a major comfort to me throughout my life knowing and seeing
it was there. I knew at times when I was desperate and alone that I wasn’t
totally alone in this world. I live alone. I had too visible knowledge that there was
something beyond this which can be calming and can give me more courage to
continue daily. I feel that God has upheld me in my life by his free spirit that Psalm 51 gives mentions to.
Any further visions I have had post 17 I won't share them in this testimony although they have given me comfort, and I am here to edify the church and those visions I have shared have been verified in church.
My faith carries me today. As Christians it is important that we do pray I've realised through life so that we will continue to be fully protected and to support us get through the day.
Sometimes in life though it may be difficult to communicate with God, a simple Our Father can be a starting point which can be found in (Matthew 6:9-13). Jesus showed us how we can pray with this prayer. Sometimes it has been hard for me to pray due to my health and people prayed for me. Intercessory prayer is very important during these times for others.
Why am I sharing this with you today? This will be for many at 49 years old the first time that they will know this about me when they see this. We often say little about these things, but sometimes we may feel called to speak out. I feel that it is the time to empty my pockets and share what I have witnessed as a Christian to support others and to offer this as a small gift to my Father. This has also been a very difficult time in the world and we are still experiencing unsettlement in the world. People need to be restored now more than ever and need support. People need to be armoured as well, as much as they can (Ephesians 6:11). With my natural light heartedness I would say think of the Teenage Turtles getting themselves ready. Let us remember that Jesus left for us a comforter to console us in times of distress (John 14:26) which is the indwelling Holy Spirit. Returning to this, many people cannot see beyond a 9-5 and many struggle to see a purpose to continue and it is not hard to become caught up in the world. At this point I felt sadness.
This is the will of God in my life. The world as I experience it I constantly see that there is a world beyond this one with my eyes, that God is just but there, which simply means there is something beyond this world which awaits me and us. Still, It is not rainbows for me as well, life can be challenging and I would find life even more challenging without being supported as well. Being a Christian is not always easy, but God knows how to uniquely support his children. It would be good here to remember that we are all equal in the sight of God, for there is no Jew or Greek, slave or free slave, male and neither female before God (Galatians 3: 28).
Moving on, I have loved God with my whole heart (and this is the most important commandment) since I was 17 and I haven’t been at times perfect, who is, though I strive to do better. Loving God Our Father is the most important thing. Perfection will only be found in God which Jesus is our perfect example of and who we should keep our focus on and emulate. God has been a tender hearted, patient and merciful God to me. God shows himself in different faces (Psalm 18:26). I believe in establishing a relationship with God and communicating with God openly in prayer can help. Communicating with God makes any situation more bearable for me. It is this personal relationship and love of God that will help to sustain your faith.
I think the Beatitudes given by Jesus Christ should frame how Christians behave and this should be reflected onto others. Among the 8 Beatitudes in (Matthew 5:3-12) we are told that Blessed are the meek, what can we take away from this about how we should conduct ourselves with others? We can take away from this that we should be gentle and not present ourselves among others in a bashful proud manner. We are also told that Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. What does being merciful mean? It means that in day to day interactions that we should strive to be forgiving and that we shouldn't judge others but that we should be compassionate towards our fellow neighbour and not act as a persecutor who is vitriolic about their damnation which may cause people to lose hope, so that God will have mercy on you when the time for your judgement comes. It is with a clean heart that you will see God that the Beatitudes tell us.
I believe that Jesus is my saviour and my salvation which is rendered to me by Jesus Christ who atoned for our sins. I believe that I serve one God. However, my compassion for humanity extends to the world and I want all people irrespective of their background or religion to be treated with compassion and dignity. There are some challenges of modern life and I worry about the very young and social media influences, such as we have seen with various cases in the media. We should do our best to take care of them to ensure their safety online.
Gifts of the Holy Spirit and Church Life
It has at times been very challenging for me to attend church. It has been difficult at times due to my eating disorder when I have been too unwell to attend. I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa at 21 and at times have also needed long term treatment in inpatient. Eating disorder behaviour started at 14 after several very difficult experiences caused by sin in the world and the involvement of the role of my own personality. I have however experienced a long term eating disorder. Today I am diagnosed with anorexia and have medical complications which I receive treatment for under the National Health Service (NHS). Jesus also stressed the need for medical attention which today people often get at the point of persistent symptoms (Matthew 9:12).
Today
we have Christian online services and groups which may be something
that people can consider who cannot attend a physical church in person.
I now attend a Holy Communion Eucharist service in my local area. The service I attend is a quiet early morning service. The service I attend is manageable for me in terms of length. I have always come away with an uplifting feeling and a spring in my
step after attending church. Going to church helps to sustain me and I like to know that I am doing what I can to manage my life the best way that I can. I also enjoy the routine of going to church as well. Attending a sacred place as well gives me further sanctuary from the world which can be challenging at times. I like the sense also of an ending and newness to the week ahead that going to church can give me as well.
I feel also more connected to my faith through attending church and taking the blessed Eucharist helps me with this feeling of being more connected with Christ. Jesus told us to do this in his memory (Matthew 26: 26-29). For your own reasons you can also receive a Blessing in a church instead of the Eucharist.
I have found my church leaders to be an invaluable source of support to me spiritually and psychologically. In our gatherings as Christians also we can support each other (Esslesiastes 4:9-10) (Hebrews 10:25) "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." So yes, there is indeed that Body of Christ composed of Christ as the head and the members of the church to form one body and there is clearly also a meeting point where we gather together.to worship.
I am also mindful on Sunday of the Sabbath which I choose to mark at church and worship God. Jesus would attend the synagogue on the Sabbath to worship his Father as was custom (Luke 4:16-21).
To make this clear, yes, I have experienced difficulties as an autistic in a different church with a different style of worship. The service I attended I must say was extremely good, but it was just not suited to my needs as an autistic Christian. The service I attend today is more suited to my needs as an individual who has autism also. I can say some of the difficulties; I have had in the past at church was that length of the service was not at a length I could retain focus and there was more movement of sitting to standing and this is a known issue that some autistics experience, but that was overcome for me when I went to a new church with a shorter service and less sitting to standing.
We can go between different churches to settle at the right church for us and I have found the right place for me. I have been at my current church for around three years now and have settled at the right church for me. I have further needs in communication and imagination and if in any doubt I discuss things through with my church leadership and others using their gifts and the situation is understood. I can struggle with someone's pacing of their speech due to autism but listen and expand on the sermon privately at home after service. The service I attend is a silent service and I can struggle with an organ or very loud music. I do have my own playlist of Christian music and listen to when I feel drawn to do so. God has simply equipped me to cope which has circumvented my weaknesses and shone a light into what strengths which he only has given to me to sustain me through my journey and that is what I must focus and expand on. I have found ways to manage my difficulties sufficiently.
The Church Body
(1 Corinthians 12 27-28)-Now ye are the Body of Christ, and members in particular and God have first set some in the church, first apostles.
The Church Body (members of the church) Jesus is also the head of the Church (Ephesians 1:22-23 ) and as baptised Christians we are all part of that body and have a purpose to fulfill in the church (1 Corinthians 12-28) (Romans 12). When we take the Eucharist we are being unified with Christ. Jesus is the vine/stem and I am dependent on him for my life. The Holy Spirit has the potential to be active in any church that worships God in truth and Spirit through the gifts of the Holy Spirit for example such as the gift of healing, truth and wisdom. Each spiritual gift works in harmony and has intrinsic value. There are 9 gifts of the Holy Spirit in (1 Corinthians :1-31) the Bible and the gift of the Holy Spirit is usually received today at church through the laying on of hands or baptism. The Bible closely links Baptism to the Holy Spirit. Baptism goes far beyond the receiving of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit to renewing promises which marks the beginning of a new journey with God. If you are interested in being baptised it is best to discuss this with a Church minister and I suggest reading reputable information from the Church.
We should also remember that the Gifts of the Holy Spirit is God's power at work and not an indication of human achievement and that we should always worship and thank God for the use of these gifts in our lives. God knows truly what is right for all of his children and we are only but One Body in Christ as Christians.
I will now end this section with the below.
Your body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit which appears in the Bible-(1 Corinthians 6).
Christians
post Baptism of the Holy Spirit are reminded to keep their Temples clean which
contains the Holy Spirit, not just at church but in the whole of their lives
as a living duty service to God and the people of God.This expectation is given to Baptised Christians who carry the Holy Spirit and who Jesus is their Saviour and Salvation as well.. These are however good values for anyone wishing to follow as well and we all have a journey before we reach this point. No, we will not get it right always as Christians and we look for forgiveness and mercy from God as well. We need to remain focused on Jesus.
Miracles and Healing today
Moving on,I have had my questions. I have settled on that this has been my destiny and people who I have encountered in my life have been part of my destination journey as well.There are clearly many occasions that Jesus healed people and carried out miracles on those with diverse presentations and duration of illness to show that he was the Son of God. Also not all these people had sinned like with the man who was born blind who received his sight after 38 years. However, Paul the Apostle had the ability to heal others but Jesus didn't heal him from his condition. Jesus said that his grace was sufficient for Paul and Jesus' power was to be magnified through his weakness (2 Corinthians 12:7–9). Paul told his companion Timothy, who was also a pastor to manage his conditions with a little bit of wine (1 Timothy 5:23). There is some discussion of whether Jesus'friend Nicodemus was autistic.
We know in the book of Genesis that suffering came into this world (Genesis 6:3). At 17 I was blessed by God and God provided for me with a spiritual gift even though I had autism and an eating disorder and it was used at that time to serve the church with both conditions present. God centrally as a responsible Father had more important things to be concerned over in my life. This also has not limited change from being made in my life. It has also been used to help sustain, protect and walk with me. I scored moderate level 2 for sensory sensitivity on the autism test. I am very visual and auditory sensitive and it is like light has been brought to these areas how my gift of the Holy Spirit has worked. My gift is loved by me as an autistic also with the light element tbat comes with it. Also, some research called Sensory supernatural experiences in autism by Ingela Visuri in 2018 found increased somasensory experiences in autistic people. Autistic people are often graced with spiritual gifts as documented by Keri Szabolcs in their article titled Autism and Religion in 2023.
Too many Christians who experience issues with their physical health or have disorders and those who are disabled are expected to confess their sins in order to be healed or delivered. Job called his friends who did this miserable comforters (Job 16:2). A Christian who has challenges with their health can also be assumed by some Christians to be lacking in faith because they have not been healed, which can feel like a judgement that can alienate some people from practising their faith and can cause confusion for some people about where they are with their faith.
Sometimes people do not always wish for their condition to be the subject of discussion when they go somewhere or they may need space from being subject to attempts at being healed by others even if they may have the best of intentions. Galatians 6:2 speaks to us also about the need to support fellow Christians. Sometimes, it may be useful also to ask directions about what someone might find useful and consider practical support if a close contact also. Let's remember to love our neighbour as ourselves as Jesus said was the second greatest commandment.
God answers prayers according to his will (1 John 5:14). St Teresa of Avila is just but one of many saints who experienced health challenges whilst serving God. Saint John of God and Blessed Marcel Callo also endured mental health challenges whilst serving God. Blessed Marcel Callo battled with depression whilst serving God in Holiness. In Pia Matthew's book God's Wildflowers documents 141 Saints, Blessed and Venerable, who experienced health challenges ranging from mental to physical pain whilst serving God in holiness. As the author states in this book. Illness doesn't prove holiness and neither destroys or causes holiness. Furthermore, although illness may make things challenging at times, illness doesn't cause these Saints, Blessed and Venerable, to be abandoned by God.
For one boy with Epilepsy/Seizures before medication was used to treat this condition in the New Testament the cure for this condition was prayer and fasting to drive out the spirit (Matthew 17:21). A Blessed called Amadeus IX of Savoy suffered from epilepsy and God blessed them and gave them grace. As would be expected they also followed the prescriptive steps in the New Testatment to cure this condition. They lived with this condition and miracles have been attributed to them. This shows how different two people's paths can be who suffer from the same condition. One person may be called to follow a path of healing and one may be called to serve God and live with their condition with God's blessing and grace and this will be God's will. This will also apply to some other conditions.
As a non denominational Christian I note that my Christian Catholic brothers and sisters have a rich tradition in seeing the beauty in creation and not despising the human body and knowing it is a temporary state. They appear to be richly rewarded with many notable disabled Holy human beings who dealt with adversity in the body but were Servants of God.
Today not all Christians who endure chronic issues with their physical health and those who have disorders or who are disabled wish to receive a miracle or be healed, some wish to be managed and some see their condition as natural, especially with the ageing process.
Some disabled Christians arrive at and describe a point of becoming spiritually whole albeit not completely physically healed in the body. Healing and Wholeness church services are good to explore to develop this. For some, who are disabled or have disorders see it as part of their identity and trust in the Lord. We are all made in the image of God. Furthermore, there are people with chronic issues with their health, disorders or disabilities today who can exist more comfortably in some countries and not find themselves excluded from society compared to the time of Jesus' ministry.
I
would say to those who experience conditions that you are entitled to have
your own faith and walk your own path as a Christian and remember that God is with you as well. As Christians we should build each other up and encourage each other as said so clearly in (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
Miracles and healing are still happening today. God's power should not be underestimated. If God desires for a miracle to occur or somebody to be healed then it will happen in God's own timing. I have witnessed miracles in others. The elders in church were instructed to pray over and anoint those who were sick and unwell with oil and if they had sinned they would be forgiven (James 5-14-15). There is a difference here between being unwell and in a managed condition. They also used the laying of hands (Luke 13:13). I have by my request been prayed over and anointed with Holy oil at church and received the laying of hands and found it helpful in managing my autism, which is what I was asking for. God knows also how to manage my autism.
Also, after taking the Eucharist and asking Jesus to heal one of my conditions experienced dramatic changes to that condition directly after. My very noisy nervous system was muted and became more manageable. There have been miracles recorded after taking this sacrament. Sometimes God also chooses to heal someone when they do not even ask as well as has occurred at Lourdes for example.
I have also had water blessed to make it Holy at the church I attend after service, which I used for spiritual refreshment (John 7: 37-39) to defend myself and to sanctify my home. I am thankful for the mercy that Jesus has shown me as my saviour throughout my life.
My ASD diagnosis has helped me to be more understanding of myself with becoming overwhelmed especially. I experience hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity. In the UK autism is seen as a neurodevelopmental disorder which is regarded as a disability under the 2010 Equality Act and Autism Act 2009. On a gradient of 1-3 on the ADOS 2 test for autism I scored 1-2's (mild-moderate). I also am moderate for conversation, communication and sensory (as already noted). My autism is not at the highest point of severity level 3.
I am managing anorexia now after extensive treatment but who knows what my future may bring and what plans God may have for me. I have read of reported cases like with Sister Marie Therese who have been healed from her anorexia after five decades with anorexia. Her trauma stemmed from childhood abuse.
There also have been Saints who have endured feeding issues in their lifetime and who also were Servants of God. There have been some significant changes for me over the years with growth and reducing the aggressiveness of my eating disorder behaviour and I have survived at times when I was not expected to. On some occasions they have been thought to be Divine in Intervention, for reasons only known to God. It was clearly not my time. However, this is not about my complete life story. We all have our own paths and mine is for God to determine. I try to take life daily and trust in God, trusting that Sovereign God's will be fulfilled in my life. I am now looking forward to commence being a hospital chaplain volunteer which has been a dream voluntary occupation I have wanted to do for some years now.
Final note
We should hope and pray for God's plans to be
manifested and fulfilled in our lives whatever our situation or condition. We can continue to serve God in Spirit. What also gives me
comfort with my faith, is that I serve a steadfast God in a world that can
accelerate with constant changes. Let us remind ourselves that the prophet Joel wrote that the gifts of the Holy Spirit will be further poured out on the earth again (Acts 2 16-21) and will continue until the Perfect one returns, which is Jesus. Churches are resurging in the gifts of the Holy Spirit now. I think that Jesus gave me this testimony at 17. Jesus knew as a child as well that I just loved to write factually and record things as well.
My faith has ended up being the best gift that I could ever have received in this world and I couldn't have managed without it. I feel that I have had an unseen friend who is on my side in this from the start when God blessed me with my gifts at 17.
If you want to know more about the faith I suggest that you start out by buying a Bible and then start out by reading the New Testament and then the Old Testament. If you cannot buy a Bible you can download an online Bible online and I suggest a website like Faith Comes by Hearing to download it. Following this, I would suggest you start to communicate with God in prayer.
May God's plans be fulfilled in your life and God is always watching. I encourage you to seek and knock the door as Jesus said in the Gospels and the door will be answered to you in time. Surrender all to Jesus. Hold on. I wish you all well in your journeys.
Rachel Obanubi
You can download an Ebook Version of this testimony here below-